26/05/2011

My NOT to do during Summer list

For this week's writer's workshop over at Mama Kat's Losing it, I picked prompt #5: Your top 10 Summer Don’ts. You do know I love lists AND I also like telling others what to do -or in this case, not to do- so I think Mama Kat really thought of me there.

1- Don't fall in love with the bartender/surf instructor/lifeguard: he will not be Tom Cruise nor Kelly Slater nor any of those hotties from TV shows. Wipe off his tan, picture him in jeans walking in the grey city. There. Now listen to him speak. I don't think I need to add anything.

2- Don't go away on vacation in July: you'll just hate everyone when you get back in August. They will all be making fantastic holiday plans when you'll be losing your tan at the office. Chances are you won't have a tan at all, because we all know that it rains in July (especially in France, I know).

3- Don't go away on vacation in August: you'll just spend the whole of July envying those who take their holidays before you and chances are you'll see them coming back with a tan and this 'I'm just back from holidays and I am fine' look. Also, we all know it's too hot in August.

4- Don't buy ANY souvenirs. Those shoes look adorable ON THE BEACH. They'll just make you look plain stupid back home.

5- Dont you EVER have your hair braided. There is no excuse for that unless you are under 14 years old.

6- Don't go on a diet. Summertime was made for BBQs, rosé and cocktails. You'll be fat, but happy.

7- Don't go to parties on the beach. You'll just end up wasted and sleeping with a bartender/surf instructor/lifeguard (see point 1)

8- Don't follow any advice in women's magazines. They'll try and make you believe you can find true love (point 1 again), that you'll be thinner and that you will look fabulous with that green hat on.

9- Don't think it's the Summer until it's actually hot outside. Also, there is no excuse for flip-flops in the city. Just don't wear them. Please.

10- Don't think it'll last. We Parisians very well know actual Summer lasts for approximately two weeks. And that's if we're lucky.

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7 comments:

Stasha said...

Agreed. Well I am not sure about Paris, have been often during summer and always sweated buckets. Maybe I just got lucky. So true about the lifeguards. Same with skiing instructors. So are you going South, or sister coming up this summer?

Trish @ Mum's Gone to... said...

I love this list, especially the 'Don't go away in July' and 'Don't go away in August' advice: you're right, whenever you go people will annoy you beforehand or when you get back. They'll also be sure to tell you the weather has been fabulous while you've been away.

Georgia Girls said...

That is awesome. I loved it all. Thank you for stopping by. I'll be back. :D

Cam - Bibs and Baubles said...

i'm going on vacation in july - so screwed. already broke a rule! :)

indigowildmermaid said...

The only possible solution is to go on vacation in July and in August.

I disagree re flipflops. Best footwear ever made and I WILL wear them in the city!

Marianne said...

@Stasha: I'm going South, and in August ;) Sadly, evil sister is not coming to see me and I can't afford the ticket to join her in Wales. But we'll figure something out, I hope!
@Trish: I remember the time when I had no kids and could go on vacation in June AND September. Boy, that was nice...
@Georgia girls: thank you, please do come back, we have fun here ;)
@Cam: I'm going in August... :)
@Indigo: I think the best thing is to work in July and August and be on vacation the rest of the year. Please do not wear flip-flops in the city. Please. There are lovely (and comfy) sandals for girls.

Paulette said...

Nice list! Especially #1

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