21/03/2010

Chocolate

I love chocolate. Many people do. They may not think about it as much as I do, though. I may think about chocolate as often as men think about sex, which is clearly disturbing. Sometimes I wonder if I need help, if I'm trying to compensate for something, if I don't have some form of chocolate-oriented-bulimia. I wonder if I'll stop eating chocolate one day, I wonder if I'm capable of quitting. I quit smoking 4 months, 6 days and 5 hours ago. It was hard, painful, annoying, but I quit. I didn't get any help, I didn't become the typical ex-smoker who yells at smokers – even though I'm still a tad jealous of the lucky bastards – and I don't really want to smoke any more, knowing that if I do, I'll buy a pack in the next minute. I had been smoking for 16 years, so I can safely say I have strong will power. The mere thought of going on a diet that will forbid chocolate is too much to take. I tried, I even gave chocolate away, but it never worked. I just cannot live without it. I'm even slightly anxious when I travel or when I go visit friends, wondering if there will be chocolate in the hotel/house. I'm that addicted. So sometimes, I wonder if maybe I shouldn't talk about it (to a professional and not blog readers, that is). I wonder what my life would be like without my addiction. I wonder if I'd be thin, maybe even skinny. When I do think of all this, I eat chocolate, and feel better instantly. I think it's just pure magic. Why would I take magic off my life ? Nonsense.

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