Mutiny (or how I lost my voice and found it again)

Oooooh, this is baaaad : I'm writing this at 1 a.m., my evil sisters are asleep, hence no editing from their part - my apologies if there are tons of mistakes, my English is not as good as it used to be. So, basically, I could write about whatever I want.

I was supposed to do Josie's writing workshop  from the excellent Sleep is for the Weak but I waited for inspiration and it just never came. Now, that might be explained by the fact that I sleep 4 to 5 hours a night when I need a minimum of 8 hours.

 

So I'll write about one of my dreams, if that's OK with you. I had a dream a few years ago, actually, it was a nightmare. I dreamt of a ginormous spider crawling towards me. I was helpless, couldn't move a muscle and it was really big, I wasn't being your basic arachnophobic, nope, it was the size of a watermelon. Picture a watermelon. Add hairy legs. Eight eyes. Colour the legs black and the eyes red and you've got my spider. A bit like Hagrid's Aragog in Harry Potter, except mine looked way scarier.

Anyway, my spider was climbing on me, clearly meaning to hurt me -do not laugh, I could see it in her eyes, all eight of them, and since I couldn't move, I screamed. You know, those high pitched screams you hear in horror movies. But the scream, unlike that spider, was real. My husband, half deaf and recovering from a heart attack caused by my scream, tried to wake me up, but had to wait until I was done yelling. I think that scream covered about three months of frustration and fear. I woke up speechless and stayed that way for two weeks : I had broken a vocal cord. Yep.

Needless to tell you that my husband's been sleeping with earplugs ever since. I, for my part, have tried to scream a little more in real life or at the very least, to make myself heard more. I haven't been good at it, I'm afraid. I tend to make that voice shut up too often. Except for the past month, that is. And you know what ? It feels great, not to have someone screaming inside your head anymore, to be yourself again. Not without collateral damage, I know, but honestly, I couldn't care less.

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