Yesterday, Sandrine the Barbarian sent me a link to an unbelievable article on the Web. Some Carrie Bradshaw wannabe published a note on how women had it all and it wasn't progress at all. So basically, having a husband, a job, kids and a dog is too much to handle and we, women, should probably choose between having kids and a career. Now, let me react to that in the most sensible manner: BULLSHIT.
What on earth was she thinking of when she wrote this? Is she totally mental? We can have it all, ladies. And we need to remind our daughters, constantly, that they can, too. They're already raised surrounded by images of princesses, pink stuff, they're being told there are men's jobs, that men are better at maths, sports, that girls are more sensible, quiet: it's more than enough.
I'm totally OK with my 3 year old daughter dressing up as a princess, wearing my make-up and trying my heels on but I'm far less comfortable when I find her sitting in the hall telling me 'I'm just waiting for my prince'. That day, I told her she should never wait for a prince, that princes only existed in books, just like princesses and that she should get up and live her life, make the best of it, and do whatever she can to have all she wanted. Call me an extremist, I don't care. She stood up an ran to her room to play. With her princesses, of course.
I have a job, two kids, a cat, and well, a husband even if we're soon to be divorced. And yes, it's been hard sometimes, juggling with it all, being a mother, a lover, a wife, a housekeeper. But you know what the hardest thing was? Being me. Now I've decided I wouldn't be all those things, but just be me instead. If my daughter wants to be a pilot, have four children and two labradors, bless her, as long as that's really what she wants.
When I was little, I wanted to be a ballet dancer, an archeologist and a singer in Les Miz. I'm not exactly that, but I like my job and I have the life I wanted. Things are changing now, I want different things and all I hear is 'oh, but you can't have that, it'll be too hard to be a single mum in a big city with two small children'. Has anyone told my husband that? Or any man, for that matter? I don't think so.
We have the luxury to make choices. Look at other countries, talk to your grandmothers, consider yourselves lucky. Never forget that other women are still tied to their husbands, to their children, that others have no choice but to work because they need the money and cannot afford to stop, even for a little while. I was lucky to stop working for a year when my kids were born, and lucky again to find a job right when I decided the time had come.
So, yeah, I want it all and I want it now. I think you should, too.
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3 comments:
Hear hear!! Jen
You are so right, most women don't appreciate how much better things are for most of us, not everyone obviously: I was able to work when I wanted to, and right now when the kids really need me I am not working, and that is okay as well. I am very lucky.
hears to having it all. Thanks for expressing it so well.
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