I was very tempted, no, extremely tempted to write on the other prompt "that time you met your online friend for real" but it's way too personal. For those who've been reading me for a while, it has to do with Kiss #4. Yes.
And since I promised myself to write a book about this story, I'll just keep it to myself for now.
So here's the letter.
You are, by far, the most beautiful man on earth. I haven't met all men, true, but I can tell. You are just perfect.
Even though I know I'm not as perfect as you are, I'd like to draw a list of the reasons you should start dating me:
1- I'm French. This does not need more explaining, I think.
2- I think you and I would be perfect together. And I'm never wrong.
3- I'm not totally crazy. I think most of your fans are. Think about it for a second. Most fans believe in vampires and drool a little whenever they see you. I don't believe in vampires and I only drool when I sleep, sometimes.
4- I'm not photogenic at all. Which means you'd always look great in the pictures we'd send our friends from our vacation spots (by the way, the Bahamas, next February, is that O.K. with you?)
5- I am smart. I'm not sure you are. No offense, sweetie, but you're way too hot to be intelligent. So if you're not that bright, I can be the one talking at dinner parties and you'll be the cute one. If you are intelligent, it's also pretty cool, because we will need to do other things, you, besides, well (cannot write this here, as evil sisters will probably censor me but you know what I'm thinking, right?)
I only chose 5 points because I'm sure you're pretty busy with the shooting of True Blood and trying to look gorgeous at all times. I'm not even slightly worried that you won't answer because, truly, we're soul mates.
You and I are meant to be. (I repeat, though, I'm NOT crazy)
Oh, one last thing. If you liked this post, would you mind terribly clicking on the RSS feed, here, or the Google connect buttons (top left), or by email at the bottom of this page? And if you didn't like it, you might still want to look around. There's three of us, you know, so you're (almost) bound to find something you like. And then, if you've still got time, you could share this post or stumble it, or both and get in touch with your local tv station to sing our praises. We'll love you forever.