It's like being a smoker, stuck in some far away cottage on a bank holiday, and when you reach for your last pack, it's soaked.
It's like realising you've caught an STD. First you think it will pass, that's it's just some minor thing. Then you realise you can't even walk without pain, let alone sit down. You try various over-the-counter cures, but nothing works. You have to see a doctor, but you know you'll be judged. Chances are you caught it doing something you weren't supposed to. You've told your partner, and you're eyeing him up, wondering if he'll get it too, or if you caught it off him.
You know the cure, whatever it is, will involve abstinence for a while, and then, taking precautions you don't like to take.
You feel bereft, but mostly, you feel stupid. And whatever happens, you know it won't be that bad, because it's not your body, it's your computer that's affected.
Yep. I'm virused. Not the computer I'm writing on, fear not. My lovely pink mini laptop.
Fuck. Is all I can say.


Hannah said...

There's an excellent virus/malware removal tutorial here:


As you've got an uninfected machine, you can use it to download the software and print the instructions. If that doesn't solve it, nothing will!

Jean said...

ah no...I have a pink mini laptop too and I'm in a cold sweat reading your post XXX

Looking for Blue Sky said...

Am a smug Mac user, but we do have one pc in the house and I am always terrified that aspie boy will download something nasty on to it. Wishing your laptop a speedy recovery x

JulieB said...

Oh no - hope you find a cure soon!

@jencull (jen) said...

I was wondering why I hadn't seen you around for a bit. Glad you have an alternative means of being online and I hope your lovely laptop gets well soon. Jen

Sandrine said...

Thank you all for your kind wishes. I don't think I'll try tinkering any more - I can't even boot into safe mode and I don't have a disk drive... But I think I know a man who knows a man... And, if he comes through, I think I'll ask him, while the laptop is under, if he can excise Bill Gates' evil virus magnet and install Linux instead. I was thinking Ubuntu but it's bright orange, so would really clash.

Anonymous said...

You know, Ubuntu has different colors you can choose now!

Sandrine said...

Erin, that's excellent news. Even better, that you seem to know something about it, so I will pick your brains friday night.

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