For this week's writing workshop, I chose prompt #2 "A post you regret publishing". I thought it was really cool. I also thought it was funny I had none. I don't regret any post I published. I thought I should give it a shot, posting something I'd immediately regret publishing. Daring, I know.
So there you go. I feel like shit. My life totally sucks. I miss my kids when I don't have them with me, I keep myself from crying everyday because I strongly believe crying is for pussies, I drink way too much, I either don't eat or stuff myself with chocolate, I either can't sleep or wake up at 2pm, I fall in love every two seconds, I wonder what the hell was wrong with me to end a marriage that, after all, wasn't so bad, I lose friends, make new ones, try to understand what got me here, who the fuck I am, I work like crazy and never feel like it's enough, I am full of guilt for my lovely children who never asked for this shitty situation, I think about me as a 4-year-old, remember what my parents' divorce did to me, what it did to them, what it did to my sisters, I feel like I'm the stupidest, shallowest, ugliest person in the world. I have no self-confidence left, no hope, no nothing.
But you know what? I'll survive this. I'm gonna make it. I've been through worse.
No one knows that. No one ever knows when I'm really down.
Which is why I already regret publishing that post, and why I'll deny any of this was ever true.
If anyone asks, I'm doing O.K.
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