A rare genetic disorder

This morning, as Max was getting into the lift to go down and wait for the school bus, I noticed that his rubber boots were split at the back. The whole length of rubber was gaping. So I unrolled his trousers a bit to cover as much of it as possible. Not too much: the reason the trousers were rolled up was to hide a big tear at the bottom.

These are not old clothes. They are not even second hand, or cheap. I bought the boots two weeks ago and my husband picked up the trousers around the same time. I have no idea why our children's clothes are always stained, or torn.

Well, maybe. Ours do the same thing. So it's probably  genetic.
That's it. There is a gene for not being able to keep clothes neat.
I can prove it.

We wash our clothes in our own washing machine. My husband is anal very careful about putting them on the right cycle. I'm not, but then I never go near the wash basket.

For the past eight years we've had a person coming in regularly to clean our house - aren't we lucky! - and she irons all our clothes. She's way more careful with them than we'd ever be. If we knew how to handle an iron, that is.

She's not so great about putting them away in the right place so I do that. And I am very careful anal about it.

Clothes that need to be dry cleaned are, eventually. Things are repaired when they need to be.
So our clothes are extremely well cared for (well, sort of: we don't have suit bags, shoe horns, padded hangers, fuzz ball removers, we often don't handwash stuff for ages, and only if it really really has to be handwashed and I don't bang it in the main wash 'by mistake' after it's been in the handwashing basin for several weeks - erm. I'm in danger of losing my point here).

So you see, our clothes are perfectly cared for. 
Then we wear them.
We don't climb trees (often).
We try not to walk in the mud if there's a dry pavement (unless we don't see it because we're talking).
We roll up our trousers, or tuck them in our boots if it's raining (then forget to tuck them out again).
Still, we're a mess.
There are no wardrobe malfunctions.
That's just how we are.
Any cures for it?

This was my post for Mama Kat's Writers Workshop. The prompt was: a wardrobe malfunction.


She Means Well... said...

I'm a fellow sufferer (though the Ovver Arf isn't and gets very frustrated at my, em, affliction). So, if you do discover the cure, please let me know.

Roger said...

If you're a mess, what am I?

trash said...

If you do find a cure will you promise to share? Please?

JulieB said...

I think eldest daughter might be a sufferer - although her sister is definitely not, so she has obviously not inherited the defective gene. I sometimes secretly wish it was the other way around - makes hand-me-down clothes so tricky!

Sandrine said...

Max just came back from school with a note saying his boots were torn so they'd put his sports shoes on. Oops. Yes, I promise, I will share the cure. So far I am working hard on discovering it. That is, I am waiting for inspiration to strike. Another possibility is to pay the children to look for a cure. Not sure which way to go.
@Rog. Don't know. Would you settle for a scarecrow?

Leah said...

Stopping by from Mama Kat's Workshop. That's too funny. I'm kind of like your family in that it is very difficult for me to ever go out without spilling something on myself. Seriously, I just know that it's going to happen so I'm never surprised. I definitely don't wear white out too often. : )
My blog: http://leahainla.blogspot.com/

Looking for Blue Sky said...

We're hard on clothes here too, and our solution? Buy cheap ones (well mostly) and then it's not so upsetting when they develop holes/unremovable stains/fray or just fall apart completely.

JustMom420zaks said...

I've got the same problem, only with staining and fading from too many washes. My family can't go near anything dirty or messy or sloppy without getting it all over ourselves, like a dog rolling in the mud.
I should have known, when I was pregnant, everything I ate ended up on the belly.
Mess magnets I guess...lol

Sandrine said...

Yes, about stains. Can anybody tell me how it's possible to stain a t-shirt just by putting it on, and why, if you buy something new and slightly more expensive than the usual crap, within two days it will sport an indelible stain bang in the middle? As to white. Ha. There's a reason why ghosts wear white: they don't eat.

M.Jay. said...

This is me and my family exactly, it frustrates the hell out of me that our clothes are torn or stained and I just dont know what (or care) what to do with them. I can afford new clothes and I also have a helper but this is just the way it is and no matter how it annoys me, it might never change.

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