A couple of days ago my supposedly nice oldest sister posted on Facebook that she thought I’d totally lost it. For those who don’t have access to our Facebook walls, she did it because I may have yelled a little at one of her friends whom I’ve never met.
The truth is, this is totally me. I don’t mind talking to strangers and I tend to say what I think: I just blurt it out. Now, I’m not either stupid or mean, so I don’t hurt people - or not often, anyway. When I was little, I looked exactly like my daughter and like her, as my almost-half-sister-in-law puts it, I had an angel face with the mind of a criminal genius. I think my parents and my sisters laugh hard and tell themselves there must be some justice in this world when they see the resemblance
One day, I decided to take my middle sister’s (the one who posts the cool pics) goldfish out of its bowl, hide it in an empty match box and bury it in one of her drawers. I didn’t mean to hurt the fish – I see where you’re going and NO, I was not taking pleasure in hurting animals, I’m not that crazy, thank you very much– but I did think it was funny enough to watch her look for the fish and find it. She didn’t even comment on how brilliant the plan was- what a disappointment! Of course you’d also have to know that her previous fish had perished while I was taking it for a guided tour of the house. We had a big house, the bowl was too heavy for my 4-years-old hands and I'd figured the fish could use some fresh air. Turned out it didn’t.
When I was 6 years old, I wanted to play with my sisters and they wouldn’t, me being smaller and hence uncool, so I got mad. Instead of crying and going to our mother, I chased them with a chair, screaming like an angry monkey. Now you have to picture the said chair, twice my height and probably weighing, well, I dunno, a lot anyway. I think I saw disbelief in my sisters' eyes when I lifted it, soon followed by true fear when I started running whilst carrying the chair. I must say I was a big fan of the incredible Hulk, back then. Great TV show, I totally related to the main character.
Thankfully, I am now able to control myself and behave, but thankfully also, I know to keep that wicked side alive and well and let it loose. I think some people are still a little scared of me, though. Not that they fear I’ll hurt them, but they just never know what I’m going to say or do next. I think it’s what makes them like me, too. I hope so, anyway.